Be Bold or Lose Heart

There is path to freedom that seems all to easy at the start, yet the journey is harder than anyone plans. We must know that the journey to freedom allows us to become the man or woman the Lord has for us. There is a song that has becomeo a cry to me, "No other name has overcome. No other name. No other King has conquered all. No other name. We won't be silent anymore, anymore. We won't be quiet anymore, anymore."

I have to say that that song has brought a new boldness in me to speak out the name of Christ and continually seek freedom. There are many days when I lose sight of that place of seeking and I fall back into fear of man and shame. The things that I have gone through might not seem like a kind of hell in the physical realm but in the mind they truly are. The pain and hurt I have experienced during my life has shaped me to the person I am today. Someone who has been unwilling to let Christ light up the dark places in my life and heal, but a person who has allowed the darkness to reign over me like a thick cloud of impending doom.

There are times when it seems like there is no end in sight and that I will never win the battle. In those times I revert to my old ways of numbing the pain through finding love in a worldly way and alcohol. Of course, I can say there has never been a time when alcohol has been a crutch in a need, but it has been a place where I can forget my worries from time to time. Something I came to realize last night at Bible Study is that I have been on this "precipice of freedom" for a long time with many of the issues I have been dealing with but haven't been bold enough to stand up, speak out, and be wililng to step off the edge. I was talking to my friend Jenn in the midst of my spirit being very broken and troubled by some life events that have brought to surface a piece of my life I have not even begun tread on. At that moment, I realized that I must be willing to have courage to walk in victory.

Here is a revelation I had yesterday also, "You have victory over the circumstances in your life, but you must be willing to walk in it."

WOW! That was like getting an atomic bomb to me. I already have the victory, I must choose to walk in it and overcome the darkness in my life by walking into the light with my God, my Father. There are not words to describe the healing that is going to take place these next few weeks and the pain I am going to deal with and take care of with the help of my friends and my lover.

I just want to encourage you all that victory and freedom are in your midst, you have a choice: Do you keep living in this mediocre world of pain and brokenness or do you stand up, speak out, and take that leap of faith? I can say for myself only that I have for others but lack it for myself many a time. Its almost like I am punishing myself for choices and decisions I have made, thinking that I am not worth God's time to heal because I am not. That my friends is called shame...something else I must overcome with His help alone.

I am at the beginning of my journey and it has been a wild ride so far these last several years. I have encountered God in so many ways and He has opened up my heart that I may be able to receive His healing love. He has brought light to much darkness and is continuing to do so, as well as, restoring my broken places.

Something else has been on my mind since our discussion at Bible Study and it is the concept of Luke 6:46-49 which says, "⁴⁶ “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? ⁴⁷ As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. ⁴⁸ They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. ⁴⁹ But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

This is the story of the wise and foolish builders and it is much the path we must choose to walk. Will be dig a deep foundation where inquities pass away as it becomes solid, or do we try and live a life without depth that does not deal with our issues. I know this might sound obsurd to some, but I want you to see what I am saying. I am someone who is working hard to dig a deep foundation built on the solid rock foundation of Christ. Think the solidity of rock and the shiftiness of sand. If I choose to live a life where I am not digging a rock solid foundation then when the storms come I will be shaken and knocked down. My friend Lauren has told me many times, "I want you to be so solid and founded that you won't be shaken when the little things come." Hmm..when this Scripture came into discussion, I realized that what she has told me a time or two is exactly this story. She wants me to be solid and firm,while right now I am shaky because my foundation is still being dug. I told Jenn last night that I feel like I having to dig mine with a toothpick, which I may add is almost impossible with rock and would take a very long time. Now it is time to tie in the beginning of my blog which is the seeking of freedom and walking in victory. The more you do these things, the more I do these things, the deeper I foundation will become and the closer to the Rock we will be.

With all of this in mind, think about your walk, the path you have chosen and whether you want a deep foundation full of goodness or a foundation that can be shaken. Pray about it.