The Truth of Love (Letting Go)

I write this as a woman in a season of great transition. I cannot say for sure whether or not the decisions I am making are one hundred percent His will. This puts me in a sticky situation. Tonight I was watching an episode of my favorite girly TV show and I realized sometimes true love comes in the letting go. It comes in the moment when you must abandon yourself, losing all you thought you were in order to find who you truly are. 

This epiphany may not be new to some but to me it is oh so real. My heart aches knowing that I have missed the beauty of true love for so long. Throughout my life there have been hints here and there. There have been moments when my Papa has shown me His love in enormous ways. There have been moments when it is simple and pure. Last night the Lord revealed to me true love. He made me realize that no single person can make me whole. No person can “complete me.” (Remember that scene in Jerry McGuire). In the midst of rush of life when papers, presentations, and work consume my every day, I must take a moment and rest in True Love’s arms. All of this may seem cheesy to you but it is not to me. It is a lovely piece to the puzzle of my life.

Without much revealing, I will let you into the last few months of my life. I have been growing at a rapid pace in the Lord even when I seem to feel stagnant. The wisdom that I have received, the rest and peace I have needed are all around me now. I am at a point in my life where I am truly becoming the woman of God I have been created to be. I can honestly say it has not come easy and that one life situation in particular has accelerated it very much. Many of you have no idea what I am eluding to, while others read this with such knowledge. Regardless, my life is being transformed, tested, refined, restored, and renewed.

The LOVE of the Father never fails, is always faithful, is pure and true, runs deep, calls us closer, and cannot wait to embrace us. The reality is that God is always present in our lives, in the good and bad. Even in the midst of His judgement and correction, He loves. Oh the beauty of Him, the One who cleansed and purified me with His blood. 

The world has created a picture of love that is half truth. Some get it right, others do not. It is something you can fall in and out of, it is a lust, it is temporary, it is “romance,” it is...you can fill in the blank. Read the paragraph before this one again. 

Doesn’t it make you redefine “true love.” True love is self-sacrificing, surrendered, pure, patient, enduring, and I could go on and on and on. Just look throughout Scripture at the beautiful love that is portrayed in the Prophets, the Gospels, or the books to the Church. 

Now is the time to step into a surrendered life. There is a song that continues to fill my mind, as well as, I Surrender All. It is the Will Reagan song, “Climb.” 

Lyrics: “I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven./ I give it all to you God, trusting that You’ll make something beautiful out of me./I will climb this mountain with hands wide open...There’s nothing I hold on to.”

Rest in the fact that the Father wants all of you. He wants to know you, for you to “Abide” in Him. (John 15). Don’t wait. Do not let your desires overwhelm you. The desires of a human relationship, success, power, etc. Let His desires be yours. Let your life be His. I am learning this all just as you are/will. I cannot say I have it down, but I am beginning to see how perfect His love and will for my life is. Regardless of how I want things to happen, I must trust that the Lord in His righteousness will lead me on His perfect path for my life. 

I am no longer my own. I have become the Father’s. I have found myself. I can see my destiny. I am called and full of purpose. I leave all my failures at His throne. I turn away from evil things. I embrace His goodness. I seek His True and Unfailing LOVE.

By the way, I am not saying that certain things may not be desires placed in your heart by the Father. I am saying that we must trust in His will for our lives to know where He is leading. We must not hold on to anything...a person, a plan, family, a friendship, a job, a talent, a gifting, nothing. Be at peace knowing that the Lord is leading you. Be at peace knowing that if you set your eyes upon His glorious countenance, your (His) desires will be fulfilled.

Proverbs 3:1-6

    But let your heart keep my commands;

       2 For length of days and long life 

      And peace they will add to you. 

       3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; 

      Bind them around your neck, 

      Write them on the tablet of your heart, 

       4 And so find favor and high esteem 

      In the sight of God and man. 

       5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 

      And lean not on your own understanding; 

       6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, 

      And He shall direct your paths.

Be Thou Exalted

"O God, be thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it men the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Though mayest increase, let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, 'Hosanna in the highest.'"

This is a prayer written in Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. I do not have anything to add to it for I believe we shall be men and women of Truth, if we understand that He is exalted above all else in our lives.

Meditate on this. 

Love,

Meg

Focus not Fear.

The last month and a half has been one of a lot of subtle revelation that has just begin to settle in. I will begin with the fact that I have had two car wrecks. This may not seem important but it came with deep revelation. Both times I was not focused on the road ahead of me as I should have been. Yesterday my friend said that every time he sees my car or my kind of car, a Ford FOCUS, he is reminded of the necessary need to focus. With these things in mind, I will let you know where I have been in my walk with the Lord. It seems that there is a lot of distraction and worry that has come my way. All of these will be conquered of course.

I am what I would consider a control freak...not the way we would normally define it. I am in the sense of my relationship with God. All of my life I have controlled situations, circumstances to the best of my ability until I could not anymore, until I had to give it to God. I had nowhere else to turn to. Over the last two years, I have begun to realize how much I cannot do it on my own. I have realized that the Lord is my Strength, my Defender, my Help, my Counselor, my Father. These last two months have been of great exception. There has been particular situations in which I want to control, thinking that I am capable of handling this on my own. Ha.

That my friends is a lie.

All of these situations have made me realize that I have been controlled by the spirit of fear for such a long time. Fear is like a house of mirrors you would go to at the fair. All of the mirrors distort your vision, make you uncertain of how to walk through, and gives you a feeling of panic. This is how I view it at least. When fear has a control in your life, you do not focus like you should. You begin to make decisions for yourself without any counsel from the Lord. You begin to use defense mechanisms so people cannot get close to you, become an emotional mess, etc. This has been a huge part of my life over the last ten years. I would not recommend it to anyone.

I did not realize that fear was at the root until a beautiful woman of God in my life, Deena, called it out (this was in August). Ever since that day, the revelation that I have been driven by fear has become such a reality. It also has shown me how I've kept God at an arm's length. I would not have to overcome some of those deep issues within my heart in fear that if I did, I would lose myself and fear that He would hurt me in some way. All of these are lies. I understand that in my mind, but overcoming them has been a challenge. It will continue to be that way until I am willing to lay it all down.

Let me jump back into the true topic of dicussion: Focus. That word should dominate my life. Instead of focusing on the issues, the circumstances, the solutions, I should be focusing on my wonderful Father and Counselor. I am in need of setting my eyes upon His glorious face. I am in need of letting Him embrace me so I can hear His heartbeat. I want more of Him so much. Focus is the only way I can accomplish any of this.

I tell you of how I have lived, I speak of what I must do, in order for you to avoid these same issues. I encourage you to devote your whole life to God, the good and the bad. No matter what God will have your best interest in mind. He desires that you may have life and life abundantly. =) Just press into Him. Today is the beginning of a new way of life of me. A way of life where God is my focus and everything else will fall in line.

God, let us be men and women that have our eyes set on you. Men and women who do not worry for tomorrow, but are confident in today. Let us devote our lives to you wholly without hesitation. Let us be consumers of Your Word, seekers of Your heart, lovers of Your presence. Let us be lovers of prayer and warriors for your Kingdom. Let our goal not be the calling but a deep relationship with You. Let us not be self-seeking. Oh God! May we cry out in our secret place, removing the darkness for more of YOU! Amen.

We shall be of those who wait

The reality that the Lord has called us to greater things often catches off guard. We find ourselves completely unprepared for the journey ahead, realizing that we alone cannot overcome anything without Him, our Protector, Comforter, Strength, and Life. He brings us to a place where we see that we must lay everything down. Our willingness to do so allows Him to capture our hearts and consume our everything thought and action. We see the present us. The people that we are now, completely unprepared for the call on our lives. God sees the mature and prepared us, the ones He is shaping and molding.

This is where we can get ourselves into trouble. If we do not understand that God must prepare us and shape us, we might try to do things on our own; a problem I see many people face (myself included). We get excited about the future and decide to rush into the call He has. I believe He understands the passion we have, laughs because we are trying to do it again on our own, and waits for us to realize how silly we are for thinking we could.

I cannot imagine being the person I am today without the Lord’s help. He alone healed my wounds, renewed and restored my mind, continuing to do so daily. The desires, the call He has placed on my life is bigger than I can imagine. It involves more than I can comprehend both in physical and spiritual senses. Am I ready? Probably not right now. Is He teaching me daily who I am and what I am to be for others? Yes. Is He guiding me on the paths of righteousness He has set before me, calling me deeper? YES.

I am not saying in any way that I’ve got this whole relationship with God down pat. I don’t. I am discovering the need for Him I have. Some weeks when I seem to make a million commitments and do not stop for a moment of precious quiet time with Him, I realize how much I need Him. How much He loves me. He is passionate about me, about the desires He’s placed in me, about the people He has placed in my life.

It is amazing how God changes up the way He encourages and speaks to my spirit. Sometimes it is through the Word, other times in the midst of prayer or writing. Lately, it has been through words of encouragement from other people. Anyways, that was a random digression. I really just wanted to express the thoughts I had on the call He has for us.

He does not want us to live in the future but for the future. What I mean is He delights in our daily growth that prepares us for future endeavors. Ha. Endeavors might not be the best word, but its only one I can come up with at the moment. We must share in daily, present relationship with Him. We cannot hope to obtain something deeper with Him without action. We cannot move without Him moving first nor speak without Him speaking first.

We must be willing to live a Psalm 46:10 life. A beautiful quote by A.W. Tozer from his book Pursuit of God is: “Whoever will listen will hear the speaking Heaven...Religion has accepted the monstrous heresy that noise, size, activity, and bluster make a man dear to God. But we may take heart. To a people caught in the tempest of the last great conflict God says, ‘ Be still and know that I AM God,’ and still He says it, as if He means to tell us that our strength and safety lie not in noise but in silence.” I am not saying that every moment with the Lord will be in silence. We must have communion with Him daily, celebrating His goodness, and praising His name. Many times though, we do not wait patiently upon the Lord for an answer but assume that the first opportunity that comes our way is what the Lord has for us. This may be true in some cases, but I believe more often than not that we are simply not waiting for the best. We are settling for the good things and not waiting.

Let us be diligent in the things He has placed in our lives now, not squandering away precious time. Let us be a people that live a Matthew 6:33 life. Let us be patient, waiting for the best, opening our hearts and minds to His Kingdom.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” -Matthew 6:33

Take a moment this week to wait on the Lord; let Him teach you, mold you, and guide you.

A few verses on waiting:

Psalm 27:14

Psalm 130:5

Isaiah 8:17

Proverbs 8

Let Him....

Hosea 1-14
Romans 9

Why do we turn so often to unsatisfying idols that bring no answer to our hearts yearning? Why do we have whore ourselves out to the world's great treasures, all the while distracting us from our self destruction? Have we forgotten to trust the Lord and stand upon His great promises? So many times daily we fall short in the eyes of the Lord, yet there is grace. That phrase, "yet there is grace" seems to be our cop out of changing our ways and coming to true repentance. Yes, Jesus died that we may know grace though He did not come that we might both serve Him and money. Matthew 6 verse 24 says, "You cannot serve both God and money." We say that we have committed fully to a relationship while holding back the entirety of who we are from Him.

If we were to abandon ourselves, we would have to deal with hurts, pain, betrayal, sin, and give up our desires. How is that bad? We find it to be so often because being vulnerable is something of weakness. If we show "weakness" to God then surely man will disapprove. When will we learn that man's approval is fleeting and its hold on us is weak. The approval of our God, on the other hand, is great and strong. Oh how often in Scripture He shows us His great love, yet we run away.

We do not want to face fear and cast it our because it has become so common. Pride has become a friend and gluttony its companion. Oh how vile those things are that lead to destruction yet we cling to them as if they were the richest treasure. Will our blinded eyes ever see the TRUTH? Will we ever seek the REAL GOD? The only God?

I believe there is HOPE, the joyful anticipation for good. Let us lay down our desires and our 10-year plans and seek the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!! Let us abandon ourselves at His throne and deal with all of our junk. Let Him embrace us and heal us. Let Him woo us and correct us. Let God BE God. Let Him direct our paths and lead us to our destinies. Let Him break the chains of worldly things and lay a foundation of LOVE. Let Him renew us and show us His ways. May Psalm 119 be the anthem of our hearts and humble repentance a daily task. Let us build up TRUST in Him who sinless took His life for our own. Let us no longer be whores to the world but the Bride, spotless and pure for the Bridegroom.

Love you all!

Boundless Love

Insecurity is bred from the lie that "I'm alone."

It rears its ugly head when you feel lost to the stories of close friends.

Jealousy its twin is in on the lie.

Who can you trust?

You think no one, but there is hope.

Hope for freedom from the daughters of the Father of Lies.

Freedom from his lie of loneliness.

The Father of Heaven calls to you saying,

"I'm always here and always have been."

You fall to your knees, leaving the

Dark family behind you.

You find rest in the sweet embrace of Your King.

He says, "Let me pour out my love into those empty places

that you may know I am yours and you are mine."

She cries, "Yes, Father!" with tears of joy streaming down her face.


So often we forget that insecurities drive the very way we live. We go from being completely insecure 

In the Depths...

Reckless abandon. That my friends is my definition of what true worship is. Let's define these two words according to Dictionary.com:

reckless: utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution

abandon: to forsake completely; desert; leave behind

These two words apart from each other seem nothing of a positive light, but let's look at them from a life of worship standpoint. When you are in a state of reckless abandon, you are without any caution deserting the current way of life and losing yourself. Now of course this can seem irrational but living your life this way is something of purpose.

The defintion of worship is this: to be devoted to and full of admiration for. This definition renders a new light to my revelation of worship. When you are in reckless abandon to God, you are completely undone in His Presence at all times and are allowing Him to work in and through your life.

My one goal in life is to completely embody what worship is. Yes, I will be working my entire life learning, growing, and becoming deeper in His wonder because it is a journey. I do not think when we say worship we truly understand what that means. The church we know today has made worship "a service." I wonder if we could all stop for a moment and look in the Word of God to see what true worship is. The definition I expressed above is something heavy for us to look at. The world's dictionary has defined worship as "to be devoted and full admiration for" in our case God. Wow. That makes you think doesn't it. There is a lot more to worship then going to a service one or twice a week, disintereseted you read Your Word without seeking revelation, praying just because its your "duty" to God, and serving others because that's what it takes to be accepted by God.

Ha. I laugh at the thought of this religion, this "duty" to God. It is not a "duty," its a relationship. I know many of you reading this already know what I am saying because we walk in the knowledge that we are to be in relationship. Okay, so if we comprehend with our minds that its a relationship, does that mean that its a relationship? The answer to that question is no. There is a heart change. We cannot expect do know (in the depths of our spirits and hearts) what a relationship with God is if we do not recklessly abandon ourselves to Him. Is this all making sense now? I hope so.

I am beginning to see a shift from knowledge and understanding of mind to a change and deep understanding in heart in this generation. We are beginning to grasp what a real and true relationship is. I know there are many in the generations before that have grasped it but this is bigger than ever before. For all of this to begin taking life, we must position ourselves fully to God where we are unable to be out of His Presence. When worship becomes the entirety of life, change will begin to occur because as we are being filled. We will also obediently and boldly pour out.

Out of this deep, fully, surrendered relationship the bride of Christ will be vessels of revival. Revival is defined as an instance of returning to life or consciousness; restoration of vigour or vitality. This excites my soul. We talk about "revival" all the time but the essence of it is awakening the spirit within us for pursuit. Only once we've been awakened to our new lives and self, then and only then will we will be able to have a deep relationship with God where worship is just a way of life....from that brings obedience and revival! GET IT! GOT IT! GOOD!

Let us all start to seek the Lord in the quiet place. In Psalm 46: 10 God calls us to, "Be still and acknowledge (experience) that I am God." Therefore, a relationship with God is not always loud, charismatic worship but the solitude of resting and waiting in His holiness. Waiting is a word that not many people like to hear when it comes to their relationship with God because they want instantaneous results.....if they would only wait He would begin to pour out the heaviness of His glory.....revealing to them that His plans are better than theirs and His love is deeper than anything imaginable.

Now that I have said all this. Position yourself in reckless abandon during worship. During worship means at all times and in all things. Be still (waiting patiently) and know (in the depths) that He is God. Be filled and pour out obediently...

BE REVIVAL!

I love you all and I hope that this sets in your spirits well. Allow the Lord to take hold your life (past, present, and future), allow Him to make you whole and release freedom in your life. I pray that the Lord begins to reveal to you who He is and who you are as you intimately walk with Him. Before I leave you, I want to talk to you about intimacy. One definiton of intimacy is inmost; deep within. With that in mind and heart, when you are in relationship with God, it requires intimacy.

Intimacy + Identity= Relationship with God + Obedience= Revival, Restoration, Freedom.

Peace. Hope. Love. Joy. Freedom.