Monday, April 19, 2010

Revelation of the Lies!

Here is an inspired thought for the moment:
I was cleaning my room and trying on different clothes to see if I wanted to keep them. In the process I began critquing myself, thinking that I am not beautiful enough. Look how easily the devil sneaks those lies into your head? Too easily...but our human nature wants to conform to the things of this world when instead we must be transformed by God daily. I have been struggling the last few months with some very personal issues. I am honest so believe me I will be discrete yet truthful about what's been going on in my life.
For the past two or three months I have been dealing with whether I am good enough, whether I am worth to have as a friend, a girlfriend, even a daughter. My faults seem to have outweighed the strengths in my mind. I have been reading books about battling with the mind and the strongholds created by Satan. Though I have been reading them, I have not been receiving them fully. I need to battle against the lies that I am not worth it, that I am not beautiful, and that I am not good enough to be loved. I know I am loved by my Papa here on earth and that I have many people on this earth that care about me but Satan won out on my mind. I believed that though God has given me many gifts, people, and life I am no good and will never become anyone worth caring for.
Something I have always had an issue with is wanting to control everything around me, commanding the attention of a room and wanting to fix my own problems. Your she has issues. Ha. Your tellin me. I have no clue how I got here besides believing that I can do everything on my own. I grew up knowing the Lord and learning about him from a very young age yet in retrospect I know nothing about him. His nature is deep and I must be "in the vine" in order to fully begin to know him. I have been wondering to myself why I have not been able to move past this certain point in my walk and in my life. Wondering why all of the same things continually happen to me. You know what I found out. I am running on a hamster wheel of my own creation thinking things will change with my own might. BIG FAT LIE from the Father of Lies.
I am beautiful child of God the Father Almighty who has perfect plans for me. He formed me in his image and has made me that I might love and serve him. <---that a="a" all="all" am="am" and="and" any="any" at="at" awful="awful" been="been" before="before" beginning="beginning" but="but" by="by" calm="calm" can="can" coming="coming" did="did" earth="earth" fall="fall" few="few" for="for" god="god" had="had" has="has" have="have" he="he" here="here" him.="him." him="him" hits="hits" ho="ho" i="i" important="important" in="in" is="is" it="it" knees="knees" know="know" lately="lately" lies="lies" life="life" like="like" love="love" me="me" megs.="megs." more="more" my="my" of="of" on="on" one.="one." one="one" over...="over..." over="over" papa="papa" past="past" person="person" plaguing="plaguing" pleading="pleading" question="question" realize="realize" reason.="reason." satan="satan" saying="saying" see="see" sneakily="sneakily" some="some" span="span" storm.="storm." struggle="struggle" surrender="surrender" than="than" that="that" the="the" these="these" this="this" to="to" too...who="too...who" tsumani="tsumani" want="want" why="why" will.="will." will="will" worship="worship" worshiping="worshiping" wow="wow" years="years" yes="yes" you="you">
Here are a few:

1) I need a tangible person (guy) to fulfill my needs here on earth...just by simply having him to talk to. The others that have hurt you make you who you are and you will never find anyone better.
2) I am not pretty enough or deserving enough for someone as wonderful as the Lord has for me in the future.
3) God doesn't really care about me. I am just a pawn in this game of life.
4) I am not a good enough friend and will never be. No one truly cares about me.
5) Your gifts are no use to you because you will never succeed in using them.
6) All the promises the Lord has made will be broken.

My now realization that all of these are blatant lies that Satan has slyfully enticed me with. I used this illustration when I was talking to someone recently. Its like Satan is holding something in his hand and you dont know what it is so you walk toward him unaware of what is going to happen next. As you walk closer you can feel the emotions of life begin to set in of anger, jealousy, frustration, lust, etc. Soon they envelope you and dont even realize it. Its like a poison that you will slowly choke on. There are many things right now that I am struggling with. One of those things is anger and bitterness towards someone who has hurt me deeply. Every negative thing I have written on this page can be squashed by the simple reading and studying of THE WORD! Now all I have to do is begin to dive into what the Lord has for me. I have several important decisions to make in the days, weeks, and months to come. I must begin the process of removing the rocks and filling in the holes that are in my "garden." I must begin to prepare myself for the great things that Lord has for me and amazing love that I am going to fall into. =) Thank God for giving me revelation on all of these things and letting me realize that I need to focus solely on him. No man can satisfy the desire my heart has for the love of the Lord. NO MAN!

I love you all and hope that this helps someone who reads it. God Bless! Keep pressing in. Your beautiful and created for a purpose that God alone time with him he will begin to reveal it!