Thursday, April 16, 2009

Bringing me through and the light at the end of the tunnel.

This morning I was coming home from school when I got the urge to sing. I began to sing Revelation Song which is one of those songs that just gets you in the mood to worship. I then began to sing one of the little songs I've written. That song embodies what my walk with God is all about. It speaks about how God will always be, he'll never forsake me, he'll hold my hand, he'll lift me up, and put me back on solid ground. Then I can stand strong and know that I can get through anything because God is eternal. How awesome right?! I sure think so. Then I began thinking and praying and realizing how this song rings true at this very moment. For the past two months I have been traveling through a valley that seemed to have no end in sight. I had tried and tried to fix it myself and this morning I realized that I had to give it God and then the situation would be okay. I mean I might have been hurt, lost a friend and all of that but I did learn many things about myself and others around me through this. I realized that I am stand strong and lean in to my God in those times even more but I am also to continue that even when life is great.

Right now it is. I am so happy..wait joyful is a better word. I am okay with what happened. I don't know why it had to but it did. Maybe one day the person and I can gain a friendship back but I think for now we are where we are. I have placed it at the altar of my God and I have given my thoughts. Now, it is up to this person to be okay with it. I have forgiven her because I cannot in any way continue forward if I don't. I am not one who wants bitterness and anger in her life.

This past week God has brought into my life new friends and old friends. I have regained the balance in my life and am beginning to understand why things happen. God would and will never purposely put hurt, pain, illness, etc. in our lives but Satan does. He wants us to fail miserably but that's where God comes in. He will bring you through it and even give a solution, a new understanding, and a renewed spirit and mind. Through the struggles of life we learn to trust in God, trust in those who we are close to, and trust in ourselves. If we cannot do that then we become completely lost.

We live in a world where putting people down and judging them is acceptable. Is that supposed to be acceptable to us? ABSOLUTELY NOT! We are to live in a world of our own in a way by setting an example for each other and nonbelievers by speaking life and accepting people for who they are. Of course there are going to be times when that is a struggle. Think of how amazing our world would be if we could be positive and bring it out of its depression/oppression. Our country seems to be full of people who are giving up or gave up long ago on the God of Creation. They think he failed them in some way but really they gave up on Him. God works in his time not ours. That is something else I feel that is wrong...we are impatient. Why? God will work if we seek him with all we have and not lean on the world for help. There is a saying that Patience is a virtue. Why aren't we patient anymore? One big reason is because our society is busy busy busy busy. We are always going. If you go up North to somewhere like New York and your from the South you feel like they are rude because of our "Southern hospitality." We are so used to people greeting each other in some way and saying excuse me when they bump into us. Up there that is not the way they do it. Some do but only some. New Yorkers are used to the hustle and bustle of that city and we aren't. That was a bunny trail sorry. Back to patience...we lack it because we are busy and because most of us grew up getting what we wanted. Our parents treated us well but especially right now...they are lacking discipline. There are thousands upon thousands of children who throw fits because they aren't getting what they want when they want...why? Because they know that their parents will give in because they are tired of hearing them fuss. Wow! Pathetic if you ask me.

Well, now that I am done ranting about patience and what not I will sum up how I feel right now. I went through these last couple months to find myself, gain a deeper relationship with God and the people in my life, and to realize that sometimes things don't go our way....patience, seeking God, and letting go are things that help you out there. I have gained more than I lost. I really wish that our friendship would have lasted and maybe one day it will be able to regain momentum but right now...the season has come and gone.


God Bless and Much Much Love to you all!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Discovering Yourself and God through Your Problems and Obstacles!

Thoughts are running through my mind quickly so if I leave anything out I'm sorry...=)

The other day I began to read a book called Wide Awake. In chapter two, "Discover," I got a wake up call. It says, " Maybe what you need right now is to recognize God created you to be adaptable and expandable. No matter how big your obstacles or challenges are, God created you to find a solution to overcome them. Now I know some of us love spiritualizing things, as in, 'Well, God will solve the problem.' But God rarely solves the problem with people who just say, 'If God wants it solved, he'll do it.' Instead, he seems to solve the problem with people who don't give up. Have you ever noticed that."

I sat and thought about it for awhile and the obstacles that I am going through cannot be solved by me and I cannot just hope God will fix it. I have to work with God and pray and seek His counsel. I have to live and drip my Heavenly Father all the while working through the situation. I know what is going on in the end will seem trivial. Being hurt is something that is hard to handle sometimes especially by a close friend. I know that God will bring me through it but I also know it takes effort on my part also. God may prepare my heart but I have to take the action and speak with the person who hurt me.

The last couple of Thursdays at SlowBurn Clint has said this: "Just because something is offensive...doesn't mean you are to offended." Wow! That sure did hit home for me. How many times have I been offended by something that in the end was nothing but a silly comment or action. But then I guess that is where my dramatic half comes in which is no good. A lot of times when we become offended we hold onto those things that offended us. Whether it is the person that offended us or the comment/ action made. This brings about feelings of anger, pain, and bitterness that can ruin us. They suck the life out of you and you begin to focus more and more on that offense. I have been there and until you give it God and deal with issue you will not be rid of those feelings.

At this point in my life I want to mature but this book Wide Awake is making me realize that maturity isn't being serious all the time but growing in your relationship with God and realizing where boundaries lie. Chapter two, Discover, is all about the explorer within us. If we stop being curious then we stop learning and experiencing newness in our relationship with God. Clint also spoke about being comfortable with where we are in our relationship with God and I think that that is where I have been. I was pressing through and then a problem came about and instead of saying to myself, "I need to seek harder and trust in my God," I said, "I'm okay here and I can try to fix it and if I feel like it I can work on my relationship possibly." I was going the completely wrong direction. The situation with my friends that I am/was going through was affecting pretty much every aspect of my life and that is not good. I became numb and complacent and though it wasn't long before I realized I needed to do something, it was still a problem.

My devotion today was called, "Circumstances." It says, "Much of what happens in life, whether insignificant or catastrophic, is beyond your control. But you can choose how you will respond to these situations. Instead of being infuriated by your own inability to alter events, be thankful that God is all-powerful and has control over all things. He can change the circumstances or give you the strength to endure them." How awesome is that. I love how God works. He uses every resource possible to get you to realize what the solution is or what a better way to handle the situation is. He has used Scripture, my devotional, a book, a few amazing people, and a pen and paper. It all comes down to my willingness to lay everything down at His feet and walking with Him through the situation not being defeated by everything going on. I feel in a way that is what I was doing...I was letting Satan win a battle that could effect me in a major way. I now see that Satan was planning on destroying my friendships, my will to fight, my peace of mind, etc. So many things were at stake and the biggest thing was my identity in Christ. I was being controlled by the problem not I controlling it. I guess controlling isn't the best word maybe solving....yea solving. I wasn't looking for a solution I was just letting the problem stew. The problem has not fully gone away but it is getting better for me at least. I am realizing what I need to do.

I guess this sums up what is running through my mind and what is in my heart at this very moment. I mean there is probably a lot more. Just think, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if, when we saw a problem, we assumed we were to be part of the solution? Seeing a problem only lets you know where your limits are if you don't solve it. Problems, obstacles, and challenges can either become the markers of our limits and limitations, or they can become the springboard into a whole new world." -Wide Awake. Let that quote fill your mind with thoughts. Why look at a situation as limiting but instead think of it as a growing process. Discovering something new. Something God-filled. He might not create your problems but he does have solutions and something better to come out of it.

Know this...Don't let your problem take control of your life but look to God and seek Him...Together both of you will solve it.

Also remember the Scripture, Philippians 4:6-8....It'll help you along...I can promise you that.

Pray, seek, read, praise, be thankful, dance, lean in, and grow in your Lord daily.

God Bless and Much Love.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Life is Crazy!

So I haven't been writing as much these last few weeks. I have had a lot going on and I guess writing on here would have helped but I just never did. I have been trying to figure out how to deal what is going on in my life right now and I know that God is the only option. I have been struggling to jump head first into a relationship with God. The other night at SlowBurn God really spoke to me. The last two weeks has been really taxing on my emotions, partly because I put all the burden on me and partly because I am/was at a breaking point.

I know now that all I can do is push through because at the end of this dark tunnel is a bright light that is full of peace. I am missing that at the moment or at times. I am trying to deal with a situation in a way God would find pleasing but that can only happen if I prepare my heart and mind. Set my heart on what is "right and true." I always go back to Philippians 4:6-8 because it is sort of my verse for life. It sums up how much faith we are to have in God and what we are to set our hearts on. How amazing!

Right now I feel like my heart has broken into pieces but I know that God is a God who mends. He will build me up from right now. I know in my heart of hearts and because God told me that all of this is happening for a reason that is unknown to me at the moment. I know that I need to lean in and dance with my Father. He will lift me out of the pit...give me strength. He told me that he has given me what I need and I need to look at it and use it.

In Psalm 56, it says this: " 3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. 4 I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?....

8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

9 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.
This I know: God is on my side!
10 I praise God for what he has promised;
Yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.
11 I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?

12 I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.
13 For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light.

This psalm is my prayer right now. It is very relevant to what is happening and what God is/has done for me. All I can is as verse 13 says..."walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." How beautiful the psalms are. Last night Austin Cagle said that when you don't know what to pray...there is a psalm to pray and for me right now that is so true. I thank God for all he is doing and I pray he will prepare my heart to speak what I'm feeling without condemnation. I am going to continue to pray and dig into my word.

God Bless and Much love.