Wednesday, June 23, 2010

To truly Worship

I began to think about what worship truly is to us. If I could define worship it would be passionately pursuing the one who has called me to do great things in pure abandon. Last night I was talking with my friend Carlos and realized that all it takes for me to worship is to open my arms wide and tell the Lord, "I'm Yours." Just abandoning yourself with true passion for the Lord is worship.

A big problem that I have been facing for quite some time is that I am not good enough to lead or be part of worship. For some reason, I have had the mindset that I am second best and someone else is more qualified than me. When I was at Summer Jubilee I had to face this head on. A good acquaintance of mine came up to me and spoke honestly to me about something I needed to work on when I help lead worship. It was something that I have always worried and been self conscious about but not even one of my friends could tell me to my face. Now that I know one of my problems I can overcome it and grow from it.

When you have the mentality that you are not good enough you begin to think that everything is a competition. Not only did I do that, I had some very deep wounds of hurt that I hadn't released to the Lord. As of Wednesday night at Summer Jubilee, I am free from that pain. To some people it came off that I was competing because I thought I was better but it was all out of my feelings of inferiority. I can now claim that God has the victory and that the enemy has no place. I know this does not seem relevant to what I began talking about but it is these two things that hindered me from truly worshipping my Daddy. =)

Back to what I was saying in the beginning. I feel that we must get into the mindset where every time we meet with the Lord, whether alone at home or in car or in a group worship setting, we must release ourselves completely to the Lord. Of course, the wounds and issues I wrote about above are just two of the many things I have to gain victory in in my life but it is a start. Now I can go into worship and sit at His feet, onstage or off, and feel complete. I can seek Him and not feel like I am any less than another person. My passion is there and always has been but there was something that was keeping it from being truly genuine and pure. Now I can look Satan in the face and tell him he has lost the battle and that he has no place in my time with the Lord.

This is all to say. Figure out if there is something keeping you from worshipping the Lord in full abandon and with your whole heart. Begin to inquire the Lord about it and figure out what you need to do. At the end of the day the Lord is always there ready and willing to spend time with you, but you must know it is your decision whether to live in that mindset. To know that He is the One True God. To know that no one else can fill the holes that are gaping in your heart.

Also, I want you to begin to see how important it is to spend time with the Lord. When you spend time in worship to the Lord with no motives or plans of your own, he will begin to work in you. One of the biggest things you must remember is go into worship with a pure heart. Spend time in prayer preparing yourself to be able to have an open mind, heart, ears, and spirit. He wants all of you. When you begin the process of truly giving that to him and falling deeply in love with your Papa, then you will begin to see big changes. The enemy will try to stop you from making progress, so you must be ready to stop the enemy in his tracks and spend even more time with the Lord.

Spend some time in prayer to the Lord daily and seek Him not only in musical worship but also in His Word. =) I hope this can inspire at least one person. Love you all very much and God Bless.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Destiny or Dysfunction?

Over the past several months Clint has spoken sermons over these two things and as he has I have received more and more revelation from the Lord about them. If you wanted find a good way of describing the opposite of destiny it would be dysfunction and vice versa.

These two words are the theme of the season I am going through. You, I and everyone else pursuing the Lord must make a decision whether to live in a life of dysfunction or live a life full of destiny. The revelations that the Lord has given me about destiny and dysfunction is ridiculous because it does not only concern me but every single person in the body of Christ. Here are some pieces of this revelation. The first thing the Lord revealed to me was that I was living in dysfunction. The reason I did not know I was or that people in general do not know they are living in dysfunction is that it becomes our normal. It becomes our everyday way of doing things or our mindsets. I have been living in dysfunction with my family and friends and have been completely content. Something I began to realize though is once you see the dysfunction it becomes more and more clear how unfulfilling it is. You can live your whole life and not realize that something you were taught was wrong and brought you down just a little bit. The more dysfunction you have the less able you are to put your complete focus on the Lord. I know this from personal experience. For example, in my life I am plagued with dysfunctions of control, lack of independence, and how family relationships are supposed to work. I have grown up thinking that my parents having control of my life is okay until I got a reality check and realized that not even I am in control of my own life but its the Lord's.

Now that I have prefaced what true dysfunction is I want you to understand how important destiny is. Your destiny is God given and purposeful. The Lord created you for a very specific purpose on this earth. Each and everyone of us is a piece of the puzzle and part of the body of Christ. Our destiny in the Lord is great and sufficient. It is without doubt or fear because his purposes for us are GOOD because he himself is GOOD. We are individually called out by the Lord to give our lives that we may live out the desires of our heart. Those desires are part of your destiny and will be but a piece of your destiny. Your calling and purpose are the things we must run towards.

Which one at the end of the day are you going to choose? Will you live in a life where the lies you have been taught are part of being normal are okay or are you going to live your life in the love of the Lord, following his purpose for your life?

NOW is the time to seek the Lord and for him to reveal the dysfunction and ask him how to deal with it. I can honestly say I am continually finding more and more things that are part of dysfunction and asking him to free me from it and find the heavenly mindset. I, as well as you, must seek the Lord in what our destiny is. What is our purpose on this earth? How will we help the Lord in revealing His KINGDOM!

Pray for revelation and seek the Lord with everything that you are! You think you know who you are at this moment but you have no idea. The Lord knows and he wants you to see the amazing person you are in him and the amazing plans he has for your life.

Remember first and foremost..."Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength." -Matt. 22:37

Friday, June 4, 2010

Brokenness into Victory.

I just wanted to write a bit of an encouraging word to everyone out there who thinks that things can't get any better. I am writing to those who are hurting or lost, feel completely broken, and are trying to do it all by themselves. I have one thing to say to you, you can't do this on your own.

For the past three or four months I have been living in this funk, in this place where the only solution was God and I had not even one good excuse as to why I was not giving it all to him. I have written before about some of the heartbreak and issues that I have been dealing with over these past few months but now I can tell you I can see the light. Victory is here and no one can stop it. This last Thursday I finally got back to SlowBurn after my month long time away...felt like a lot longer. Anyways, several people could tell something was off and I was tired of hiding the tears so I let them out. During service I could hardly concentrate because I could feel the freedom and the pain fighting each other. The good thing about God is he is bigger than all of the pain and suffering any person is dealing with. He is bigger than our selfish struggle to be in control of our lives. My mentor Jodi prayed for me after service and I could feel a literal weight off my shoulders. It was insane! There are a lot of other things that I have to deal with but now that I have taken the step to surrender to the Lord everything is starting to become clear.

Clint was talking about being a river dweller, which is the equivalent to being completely encapsulated in the Holy Spirit, being utterly in love with the Lord. Wow! That is not something that gets taught a lot these days. No many people talk about what power the Lord has. Many people today are worshipping a powerless God built on legalities and rules. My friends that is not the God of Jacob. The God of the Bible was mighty and powerful, peaceful and loving, jealous and strong. The God of this age is small and meak with on means of helping us succeed. He brings pain and sickness in order to make us stronger. He is lacking power and the ability to speak to us. That is not the true God. That is the God that the world has tricked many of us into believing.

MY GOD is...
powerful, mighty and true.
loving and kind.
always here and never forsaking.

MY GOD wants...
me to succeed and dream big because he is a BIG GOD.
me to find rest in him at all times.
love him deeply and be romanced by him.

Does the God you serve have the power of the Holy Spirit or is lacking in that department? Does the God you serve have the qualities that my God has?

There is only one God living and that is the God written about in the Word. The one who is the Word. Who is Truth. Who brought his son to die so that we may live a life full of grace and mercy. A life that is full of beauty and love because his love overflows out of our hearts and mouths as we seek him.

Satan has been tricking me over these months into believing that the Lord in not truth and he is not going to be able to take the pain and hurt away. He has also been setting me up for the belief that I should trust no one especially God. How crazy is it that I was falling for it until I went to England. I got there and had an amazing time and figured out a lot about where I have been at lately. Part of me has wanted to press in and be with the Lord while the other half wanted to get away from everything and everyone and do my own thing. My own thing obviously wasn't that successful and began to wear me down. Guys, living in sin, shame, condemnation, guilt, pain, hurt, frustration, anger, fear, etc. is not worth me. Those things continue to wear down your mind and bring you to a place of true despair which is not good. I am a living testimony of how God can move in two days. On Tuesday I was out with my friend Nina and I was telling her how I felt trapt in a sea of pain and hurt. Then on Thursday once I stepped back into the presence of God, the presence of the my Papa with whom I have left hanging the past month, I felt the freedom and peace that I could have. I felt the rest I could. It was wonderful to worship my Papa and be loved on by him. If you haven't taken time to just rest in him please do. I am telling you right now you will feel refreshed and brand new. Talk to him about what's going on in your life even though he already knows because he is a good listener. And if you're willing he will answer you. But if you're patient and rest in him, he will give you answers to questions you haven't even asked.

So this definitely turned out to be longer than I thought it would be but no apologies because this is my heart. This is where I am at and what's going on in my life. I hope you guys have received something from it and that love is overflowing out of each letter I type.

Love you all.