Friday, February 27, 2009

God and His Unbelievable Beauty!

Have you ever sat and listened to a storm unafraid because you know your in the safety of your own home? If you haven't do it next time there's a storm. Life is full of beauty everywhere rain or shine. Today is a rainy day and a lot of times people think rainy days are icky and they can be if your unprepared but think of what rain is for. It is quench the earth of its dryness....thats really cool. I sit and wonder sometimes why people seem to hate nature. Why? I mean its something that God has placed all around us and we should cherish that. Go outside, sit down, and look at your surroundings....I live in an area with lots of trees and barely any street lights. In the day its cool to see the wind blow through the trees and the little animals scurrying on the ground. The coolest thing ever though is coming home to six deer just hanging out in your yard and watching them...what beautiful creatures.

Another something that everyone should try is going outside where its super dark and looking at the stars...stand in shock and awe of the billions of stars in the sky and their distance and beauty.

If you ever start doubting that God exists look outside and stop.....Take a deep breath and try to figure out what other explanation you can come up with for why the earth is so amazingly beautiful. I think God put the stars, the trees, the sunsets/sunrises, etc. here for us to be in awe of Him and his creation. Think how horrible the world would be if there weren't these would be icky...really bad.

Be in AWE of the One who created everything and then pray to God thanking Him for the beauty around you.

(Above Inspired by Ben's Blog)

God Bless and Much Love

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Christ in You and A Word.

Today I have been thinking a lot about why God places people in your life. I was sitting in my best friend, Lindsey's dorm and I realized that without her I would be a completely different person than from what I am today. I am overwhelmed at how amazing she is and what an example she is to every single person she comes in contact with. Christ shines through her so much and I am amazed. How do people see you or me? I have no idea. All I know is I am searching for that place where I am to show Christ. I know I am to show him in my daily life but where is God placing me to lead and show the way. I have been praying a lot lately about my friends that they may be blessed and that they will continue to bless me. God places people in your life for times and seasons and I cannot even fathom not having some of the people in my life there. How weird would that be? that is a hard change.

Listen to me and do not doubt that everything has a purpose. Let them know that they are loved and that they have a purpose bigger than they know. That they are to show me through every single action, word, piece of life they live. Let them build relationships with others who are seeking me with everything they have. Tell them to pray to me when they feel like their lives are falling to pieces and collapsing into tiny puzzle pieces. Show them they are beautiful and that they should not doubt the beauty I see inside and out. They are my children chosen and full of life. I will never leave them and never bring pain into their lives. I am their Father whom they follow. I am their Daddy that they can be held by in times of struggle. I am their Daddy who will hug them and tell them well done when they work towards the Kingdom. My son was the sacrifice that saved them. Show them my son through you. Let him live within you. Do not doubt my goals for you or doubt where I am taking you but be filled with hope and confidence that I am working in your life. DO NOT run away from the things I place in front of you so you can seek whats in your heart but RUN TOWARD what I have put in your hands and work with them like I work with you molding you into the BEAUTIFUL SCULPTURE. Praise me always and pray to me always. I am listening at all times. Be PATIENT and continuously pray for the things that you need. I will answer you but BE PATIENT! Listen to me and seek me in the TRUTH which is the WORD....I love you my beautiful child with whom I am well pleased. SEEK ME! Learn through the struggles and be comforted that an end is coming and that a GREAT LIGHT will come out of the darkness.

WoW! I have no clue where that came from...wait maybe just maybe no in fact it was my God. Listen he tells us. I am and I pray that I will take what he tells me to heart. Oh God of creation, I pray that you will use me and that you will show me the path with which you placed in front of me. I pray that you will set my feet to dancing and my heart to singing. I pray that you will give me peace of mind and an open heart.

God Bless.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ups and Downs. Peace. Decisions. Conviction.

Life is full of its ups and downs and I am beginning to understand more and more what those downs are for. They are for us to find ourselves and for us to lean on the one and only God. It is a time to commit ourselves to pray and to seeking Him with absolutely our WHOLE BEING!! Great thought...haha. Anyways, I find it amazing to see people struggle through different situations and see where it takes them. Does it take them to a place where they drift away from the One person who created them or does it make them fall further and deeper in love with Him. Hm....think about it. In your times of struggle which one are you? Its not an easy question to answer because a lot of us hate to think we drift hurts. I have seen plenty of people run as fast as they could from Him and look back only to have their life in tinier pieces than it was before. I just find it painful to think about running from the ONE AND ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BRING TRUE PEACE! As Philippians 4:7 says, "a peace which passes all understanding..." That is hard to imagine a peace which we ourselves cannot understand.

I find myself at this very moment looking at situation and praying it will only get resolved and that they will both turn to God and find the answer in Him. Though arguments and problems suck they will be gone with a little reconciliation and prayer. An end might not seem near at the moment but it will come. Joy will enter your being and you will be overcome with that amazing peace. Just sit, think, pray, LISTEN, seek YOUR GOD with every part of your being. His Word tells us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength....I know I say that a lot but I want you to get it. I want to see that that is what is takes to fall madly in love with Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior.

I have all of this nervous energy at this very moment because all I can think about is what tomorrow will bring....will the sun be shining or will the rain fall, will I give my day to Him or try my hardest to make everything work, will I love on everyone around me or go around with a negative attitude, will I show Christ or turn those who do not know Him away because I am acting a certain way and claiming to be a "Christian." Ask yourself these questions and answer them BS. No second guessing yourself. Know that you may not make the right choice all the time with each of these things but if you are seeking after Him and listening to Him as I talked about last time then slowly but surely you will figure out how to fix the wrong choices.....FIX...what a word....more like mend!

To live with conviction...what is that? Brian Huston puts your convictions like this: "Your convictions are the beliefs and persuastions that ground you and establish the pattern of your life." I like that. We are to influence the world not let it influence us. Well, I am gonna let you think on some of the things that I have brought to your attention.

Much love and God Bless your journey.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Dripping, Leaning, Loving God. Eyes Becoming Open.

Last night I went to SlowBurn and Clint spoke about hearing God's voice. Do we hear it? I think that we do but I think sometimes we don't focus on it. We are to "lean in" and listen to what God is speaking into our life. If you think about it like I did after his sermon last night we should hear from God daily...speaking LIFE into us. We are not to be a people who are discouraged but encouraged. How cool would it be if we all listened to the voice of God daily and let Him lead us down the path He has chosen for each and every single one of us. I can only imagine at this point what that would be like? How would the church look? I think there would be less politics and more GOD. I find that religiosity is in every church in some shape or form. There are some that have overcome it and are seeking the Kingdom of God with their whole being.

Something that always throws me off with Christians is there thought that one denomination is better than another...that is a lie. Everyone has their own view of worship and that is amazing but we seem to forget that we are all God's church. We are not supposed to over analyze the Bible and take things to the utmost extreme but we are to live for our God. The things that denominations debate and bicker about are pointless. One goal, one mission...that is the church. We are to seek God with everything we have and love one another as ourselves....then we can as a unit spread the gospel to the nations. Well, that was definitely not where I was thinking this blog was gonna go.... are some questions to ask yourself: Am I seeking God with all my being? Am I loving God's children? And is my church going in the direction of seeking the Kingdom as a unit and connecting with other churches to bring glory to God?

I don't think we are in a place right now where we can completely claim one or the other when it comes to the church. We need to learn to be a family and a strong unit so we can defend ourselves against Satan. He is attacking from every angle and we must be ready for battle. Satan has become very good at telling you lies...things that you wouldn't think but seem to enter your mind like: "Your not good enough." "You're ugly." "No one cares about you." etc.

If you hear those things you cannot ever think that you think them or that God is telling you that because it from the Father of Lies. He is ready and willing to do whatever it takes to win but God has a plan to defeat Satan through those times of attack. I myself struggle with doubt that God is ready and willing to work with me. I know that He is and that He is here with me at all time but sometimes I hear that voice telling me I'm on my own...and I have fallen into the trap before. Last night God spoke to me and told me, " Doubt will try to flood your mind: SEND IT AWAY! Pray in my name that it will go away and it will." Wow! I was like that is exactly what I needed to hear.

Clint speaks a lot about dripping Jesus and letting Him flow through you...what he says every week was confirmed to me....God also said to me, "Live a holy life full of me...filled to the brim where you will drip me with every word you say and everything you do." What a thought...dripping the love of Christ. That's awesome!!!! I feel like Clint was right when he said we should hear from God daily. Why not? He is our Father and King. If we listen he will speak Life and not lies like those of Satan.

Life...what is life? The definition of life is: 1) the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence 2) a biography 3) the force that makes or keeps something alive; the vivifying or quickening principle......hmm...those are all great definitions and those are a only three. I think that to define life is very scientific because when you think of life you think of what is nonliving (the inorganic) and the living (organic).

To have life spoken to you is almost like getting a fresh breath of air that has no pollution or chemicals in it...PURE! Life is something that we can define and put boundaries on but God's Life is something without brings us joy, peace, patience, self-worth, an end to suffering, a new beginning, a smile, a healed heart, and the list goes on and on and on. Why not serve this amazing God who will deliver you from all the things that Satan has placed in the world? Answer that and I will be amazed. If you can honestly say that suffering is better than freedom then I find that crazy!!!!
Remember this verse as you go through your days: Matthew 4:4 "Jesus said,'It takes more than bread to stay alive. It take a steady stream of words from God's mouth.'" That's beautiful.

Lean in and hear the Lord your God speak to you. Let Him fill you up to the brim and let you drip.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Abolition. What does it mean to you?

So last night I went to the 2nd Annual Home Foundation Benefit held by Natalie Grant. I became very informed on a subject that I knew little about and that is human trafficking (sex trafficking). There are over 12 million sex slaves around the world and 325,000 are here in our own U.S. How crazy is that? I feel that God has called us first to love with Him with all we have and second go out unto all the earth and spread the Word of God with love to all. I find it interesting that a lot of people leave out the first step of the process. We must give God our whole being in order to fully spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

We are filled with purpose and filled with the passion to change the world but we must have a relationship with God to do that I think. Our purpose is not to live our lives our we see fit but to let God use us. I do not know if I will/would ever be called to work for such a cause but I can support those that are a part of it and let that piece move towards the plans that God has for me.

Last night Natalie Grant told us the origin of the song, "God of this City." I had no clue that it all started in a brothel on the other side of the world where an Irish group started singing, "Greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city." I mean what a thought. God is not done with us yet, in fact He has just begun workings through us. I do not find it strange that we have lost focus on where God is leading us. We are at a point our journeys that we are ready to become a park of something bigger than ourselves. God can provide us with just that. He can open our eyes to the things unseen. We believe in a power that is completely invisible yet He has just great power that He leads us through this crazy ride called Life.

I find it hard to believe that two out of three people who saw the shirt we recieved which says "Abolitionist" on it. Both of them had no clue what abolition is and one of them didn't know it still existed.

How sad is it that we go through our lives and our educations and learn what it means but don't really grasp that its ongoing. If you do not know what abolition means, it means "freeing of slaves." We are called by God to inform and get the word out about this issue. We must stand together as a church and overcome satan's plan. He cannot and will not win! I think we should all support those who are working for the cause and giving the opportunity to be motivated. I guess all I can say is PRAY PRAY PRAY!!! Pray that God will give those under this oppression freedom and that WE will STAND UP and put an end to such evil!

Think. Pray. God Bless. Love.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Is Your Faith Strong Enough to Move Mountains?

This morning I read a blog of one of my close friends and it opened my eyes. She spoke about faith and how God tells us anything is possible. I think we as humans lose sight of what God has for us. We look at the possibilities and slowly scratch them off the list thinking they are sad! We do not have enough faith to trust that God CAN DO ANYTHING!! Think about it. There is nothing in the whole world and universe that is not possible for Him to do. I think not only do we as individuals not have enough faith but I think the church as a whole lacks it. I think we look at things that Christ and his apostles did with amazement and can only imagine what it would be like to heal the sick with the touch of our hands, cast out demons, etc. The reality is we have that ability also. We are told by Christ that we will do things even greater than He did. Can we even wrap our heads around that concept? I think at this point in all of our journeys not truly. We are at a place where we can believe it and know it but not truly have faith in it. Maybe I am completely off base but I don't think I am. I think all of us need to step up and truly have Faith that can move a mountain. How cool is that?

The song Healer by Hillsong has a line that is repeated several times and it is something that should excite so much that we cannot contain ourselves. It says, "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!!" That should not be a sobering moment for us when we sing those words but a time where we truly realize that God is capable of anything. He created everything so how could He be handicapped from doing certain things. A lot of things in life that we think He can't do are minute in nature. Our problems are not as big as we make them. Of course, some things are big in nature and we should definitely run to God in those times.

But why not ask God for everything and at the same time have a relationship where we are listening to His counsel and letting Him open our eyes to our purpose in life. I think that is one of the things we don't do enough. We all pray and ask God for what we need and give Him thanks but do we stop to hear what He has for us. I think a lot of the times we are in a rush to get through our time with God when truly we should be in a rush to get to that time. I myself struggle spending time in God's Word and listening to Him but I am making an effort. I want to not only hear the Scripture taught at church but challenge myself with the Scripture. It is not just a book filled with words but with Truth. Every part of our life can correlate with His Word. All of the answers are in it so why don't we read it more often. I myself find my time filled with school and work and church, etc. But I don't take the time I'm not doing anything to read it. I am sitting and trying to figure out whats next on my agenda. Boo! That's no good at all. I think that His Word and Our Faith are two things that we need to hone in on and really work on. We should be church that is knowledgable in the Scripture, is full of the Spirit, and has unending Faith. I know our human nature gets in the way of so many of those things because we get distracted by what we want and what we think we need.

Are all things your pursuing things that God would want you to pursue? Think about it. Are all of your relationships God-filled? Do you trust in God enough to know that He will sustain you? Are you falling in love with Your Father in Heaven? Those are all questions you should ask yourself. I have been asking myself these questions a lot lately. I think if you don't have the ability to ask yourself questions and to challenge life then you are not growing. I think challenging yourself is something that is very important...asking those tough questions and looking to God for an answer.

Think about your Faith and the Faith of our church. Do we believe that we are able to everything in Christ Jesus or are we lacking Faith in Him? Do we work daily to grow and fall more in love with God? Do we believe that the church can do even greater things than Christ?


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Friends and Blessings.

Every now and then God throws something awesome your way and you need to it all in. Lately I have realized how amazing life is for me right now. Of course, there are the usual struggles that I go through but I am truly 100% sure that God is blessing me immensely right now. This weekend showed me two things: 1. that I am ready to see what God has for me in the near future and present and 2. that no matter what happens good/bad I need to show my thanks to God.

I am blessed to have an amazing friend named Lauren and she proves herself a true friend to the core. If I needed her for anything she would be there and she and I are willing to call each other out. Tonight Ben Anderson spoke about Friendship Love at Fast Love. I was sitting and thinking of the connections I have made with people and what brought us together in the first place. I can't put my finger on how some of my friendships began but they have bloomed this last season like a field in the midst of spring. I feel like friendships should glorify God in every way. How you speak, what you do, where you go, a Godly foundation are all important things that form a strong bond between two people. Lauren and I have something that we love doing and that is having those deep heartfelt conversations about life, God, etc. We both are filled with passion and we feed off of each....its amazing! 

My relationship with God has definitely helped with my friendships. I have made wiser decisions and deeper connections. Why is having a good relationship with God important when it comes to friendship? I think it is important because with Him you truly aren't living. You are not growing in His name every single day or letting His Spirit flow through you on a constant basis. I love the thought that Christ lives in us and works through us. It is a constant flow with exponential possibilities. He gives us His power and through that we are to live lives that He finds acceptable. I think friendships are the basis of who you are. Your friends show what you are interested in, where your heart lies, and what your personality is like...

On another note,  I want everyone out there to realize that you DON'T need to have loads and loads of friends. I find that the less you have the closer you are to them. If you spread yourself to thin with "friends" then how much are you truly giving. I have two best friends who I look up to and who I would give anything for. Then I have my next closest friends who pour into my life constantly and give me a sense of pure joy. Then I myself have loads of people I just talk to that are not really by friends but I care a lot about. God is the sole reason for living and He has made me feel that every single person on this whole wide world should know they are loved and valued. So whether or not you think you have a lot friends, you have a lot of people you can pour into. Don't doubt for a second that God has not placed you in that moment for nothing. Its for something unknown to you and me. Let God use you and He will bless you. Know that who you have for friends is who God has placed in your life for this season to pour into your life. 

Well, I guess thats all for now.
God Bless.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Procrastination and Relationships

Today was a day of school, sleep, and interesting conversation. I realized a lot tonight about myself and how far I have come in the last few months. I am not a "flirt" anymore which I am super proud of. I also have grown so much in my relationship with God. He has brought me so much peace and happiness lately that when something bad comes along I think that I will definitely know that the positive is better to look at. Life isn't to be lived in a negative way but positive.

Tonight I went to dinner with two of my close friends, Lauren and Stephen. We were talking about relationships and I looked at my past thinking how immature I was. I went through a phase where that was all I wanted and now I am at point where I know that God will bring someone into my life when He sees fit. I mean I shouldn't just sit in anticipation but grow and live my life. I have so much life to live that why worry about that. I have school, family, friends, church, work, etc. Those things are on the top of my list but none of these things will work out without my first priority being God. I must seek Him with all I have and let Him take the reigns. I no longer am my own but God's. Hmm...I love the sound of that.

I have four tests next week and a lot to do this weekend and next week. In the past, I would freak out and not know what to do with myself so I would procrastinate. One of my friend's moms told me, "funny girl - because you get behind, and it all piles up and then you get frustrated and the quality of your work goes out the window...need more reasons?! Oh yeah - the big one - God doesn't want you to procrastinate - He has give us everything we need for life - so use it." That helped a lot and now I am really starting to work my homework now. I cannot wait for next week to be over but at the same time I am going to enjoy my weekend with everything I have.

God Bless.

Monday, February 9, 2009

A New Day. Living For Him.

Awaking to a new morning full of promise. This morning thats how I felt. These past few weeks have brought a lot of hope, challenge, and change. All things that I look forward to in life. I feel more alive than I have in a long time and am ready to jump into something new. I feel that God is leading in me in an awesome direction and that I will soon have new doors open to me. I just have to keep seeking Him and not let the distractions of this world get in my way.

I know I am not the only one that feels this way and its a hard road to take....the world is so good at manipulating you into thinking an action is okay even though you know its not. I just don't see how we fall into the trap so often.
On another note, I was talking to my best friend in the whole wide world today and we were talking about our lives and balancing them. She was saying she has no idea how anyone can balance every area of their life. I told her that it is possible because everything is possible through Christ...which sounds cheesy and churchy but its true. I then explained that if we would just wake up in the morning and thank God for the day and give it completely to Him with no selfish ambition that it would be an amazing day! I feel that we have NO REASON at all to wake up in the morning and not be happy. We are some of the most blessed people in the world and we take advantage of that every day.
We Christians say there are thousands upon thousands of people who are starving but we sit and eat and eat and eat....well most of us do. We should live life with the vision that God is controlling our every moment though He gives us that free will to make choices daily. I guess all I am trying to say is that life is in God's hands and we should let Him take control instead of making our plans for our lives.
God Bless and Much love.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The End of an Almost Bad Day!

I've decided my car likes to have character and that's why I keep wrecking's almost like it has a Herbie complex or something. =)

Anyways, the rest of the day brought an amazing time of worship at Sunday PM Fast Love. God filled the room and it was almost like a peace spread across the place. Pastor Michael spoke about the "first love" which is the love one has when he/she first receives salvation. I was glad to know that everyone goes through that time where you lose your zeal. Michael spoke how we are to go from glory to glory not backslide. That's something to think about isn't it. We are called to give everything which has been a common element in my blog.

 What's life without that dive head first relationship with God? I think we must ask ourselves whether or not we are willing to sacrifice everything to be in a one on one relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Everything around us is created by Him...the beauty of nature, the hearts of people, and the gathering of His people. I am ready for us to step up and take a chance...I think we are way too comfortable with where we are now and we need to step out of OUR BOX. We are giving the choice to stay stagnant or take a stand...which will you choose????

On a completely different note, I wanted to take a moment and let you know that you should find a group of people that no matter what you do your still loved. You can make a complete idiot of yourself at dinner by spilling water all over the waitress and all they do is laugh along with you. You need to find people who are almost like a second family and they will tell you straight up what's going on. I have those people and I love them dearly. God has blessed me with a great group of friends and I am glad that we spend time together each Sunday night and eat and fellowship with one another. We laugh way too much and talk about the most insanely intense things. We may disagree and get into little "arguments." They are not arguments just strong opinions...haha.

Find those BLESSED! Love your God with all you have and I'll talk to you later.

An Accident

Today was the beginning of a battle and its still raging.

This morning as I was leaving for church I yet again messed up my car. I backed into my aunt's car. I went and told my mother and she was furious to say the least which I would be to. The back story to all of this is I just got my car fixed about two weeks ago from where I had had a similar wreck two years ago.

Both of my parents were very upset and said several things that hurt me. I went to church trying not to think about it but I couldn't shake. It being the beautiful day it is I went outside and walked to Emmy's grave where I sat and cried. Then all of a sudden I was filled with this peace. I looked around and realized that God created all the beauty around me and that I should not let something like this get to me. Yes, my parents are upset with me but that will pass and yes it a poor mistake on my part. I feel that I need to rise above it and not let it ruin my day and that is exactly what I plan on doing.

We'll see what the rest of the day holds for me....

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Mentors. Letting Go. Giving Everything.

There are so many people in my life that have truly impacted my life and I thank God for each and every one of them. One in particular, Emmy Scott, was someone who would tell me what I needed to hear whether its what I wanted or not. After she passed away a little over two years ago, I realized how much she made me grow. She challenged more than any one person has and showed me the way a true Christian should live. She lived a life that was impeccable and of course all of us have faults but they were few for her. God's light was so bright that it almost blinded when she walked in a room. I look back at all the lessons she helped me learn and I thank God for putting her in my life when He did. 

I want to be that person to someone. I am not in any way as amazing as Emmy but I want to impact someone's life. God has placed me on this earth for a purpose. That purpose is still being revealed to me and I cannot wait to see what it is. I am learning that I cannot just sit and wait all the time but take what God has placed in front of me at this moment and use it. In time God will show me what the next step in my journey is. 

Tonight on my way home from a Life Group dinner I started praying and I realized that I have been too consumed with what God has for me in the future and too caught up on situations of the past. I have let those little things weasel their way back into my life. I almost feel like I am losing time by letting them get to me. I am losing time focusing and showing God through my life. I have too many people and many more important things in my life that I should focus on. I am to "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind." Wow. Gossiping, resentment, envy, jealousy, dislike, holding on to things that must be dropped can only lead to downfall. Now is the time for all of us to see that and start learning love, respect, confronting/talking to a brother/sister before you let it get to you, edifying others, etc. 

We are called to FALL IN LOVE with Our Father. Why do we hesitate so often to let Him in? He is our Creator and the one that unconditionally loves us no matter what. He will never doubt our ability to overcome, never show hatred or bring suffering but JOY LOVE PATIENCE. Why would we let our lives be ruled by the foolish things of this world? Why would we miss an opportunity to live for our one and only God. It almost seems ridiculous not to but sometimes we lose sight of the ridiculousness and only see what we want and let the world influence us. 

I am praying that all of us learn ITS NOT ABOUT US!!!!!!! ITS ABOUT OUR GOD!!!!! He gave us every ability, gift, talent, positive personality trait, etc. why shouldn't we give all of those things to Him in praise and let Him work in our lives.

Find someone in your life that you can talk to about anything and learn from. Find someone who will love you for you and will not be afraid to hold you accountable. Let God rule your life and show the world His light and love. But most of all give God everything you have!

Love and God Bless.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Those Apologies. Realization.

Sometimes in life you mess up and you don't even realize it. The whole time you think it is the other person that has ruined it. I asked myself the other day why in the world is this friendship so horrible? Even though the other person faulted somewhat it was me who made it distant because things were changing. I myself am a firm believer that change is good but some change is either hard or is no good. I look myself in the mirror and I ask myself why am I stnading against something that is good and why am I not able to deal with it. My reasons were somewhat acceptable but full of fault. I cannot make issues where there are none. I thank God for opening my eyes to what the truth was. I mean I am ready to confront the situation and I am just hoping that I am able to undo some of the damage.

Friends are irreplacable and I do not take them lightly. I want to give everything I can to the people in my life I care about the most and want to have for a long time. I am sorry to all of those that I have hurt, left, or not given enough. I want to right the wrongs and try and make myself more available and open to those in my life that I care most about. I thank God for every single person that has impacted my life and every person that God has put in my path in times of joy and trial. I thank God for those that I have disagreed with because they made me stronger. I thank God for all the times that I comfort my friends and love on them. I thank God for the ability to walk with an encouraging heart. I thank God for pulling me out of my selfish bubble that was starting to consume me. I thank God for showing me the light.

I pray that any of you that are having a hard time and are struggling with a friendship that you confront that person and pray that it will be resolved in a Godly manner.

God Bless and Love.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Blessed. Vision. Doubt. Thoughts.

This morning I had a revelation, I realized that I am truly blessed. I was looking for my car because silly me lost it in the parking lot. I was talking to my friend Kallie when I realized I was complaining about being cold. I found my car and then headed home. On the way, I started to think of all of those people who are less fortunate than me that are freezing outside because they lack shelter. Those are the people that we are called to help but we are also called to heal the sick, cast out demons, etc.

On that note I want to talk about the service I went to tonight. The name of it is SlowBurn and it is headed up by a guy named Clint Thomas who is truly called by God to encourage and speak to us what God has in store for us. We are to love God with ALL of our heart, soul, mind, and strength....for some reason I feel like I've heard that before. Jesus says that is our goal of a relationship with our Father. We cannot have a relationship with Him without sacrifice of self and fully giving EVERYTHING to Him.

God really messed me up tonight because I was praying really hard about some issues that I've been struggling with lately and I for some reason couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to be prayed for by my friend Natasha. After a good bit of time of just seeking Him I realized that I should just walk up to her. I gave her a huge hug and started weeping and she started praying. She opened my eyes to what kind of person God has called me to be. That person is someone who is there for people and gives them joy in a time of sadness and helps them through struggles. I am meant to encourage others to not be down. What a blessing!!!! She saw a vision of a white clawfoot bathtub filled with bubbles and some Mr. Bubbles bubble bath next to it. That is me, the bubbles that is.

My whole life I have been a very happy/joyful person and not much can get me down. This past year or so I have really started to struggle with pessimism. I was starting to doubt my ability to do things that in the past I was confident in knowing that I could. Also, I was not as happy with my life and I had nothing to be sad about. I let Satan weasel his way into my mind and make me doubt. Doubt is something that can ruin a person's relationships with God and people as well as make them have lower self-esteem. I think that letting doubt come into your life is a scary thing. Now that I see that that is what was blocking my view from seeking God and finding myself worthy I can truly say I am relieved. For the longest time I thought I was just failing but now I know it was a trick and that I should not fall into that.

A little something I wrote tonight:
I am no longer to hold to those things that are full of anger, pain, suffering, jealousy, envy but I am to walk in truth. When I see a problem in my way I should seek my Father and go to that person. Do not let those problems eat you alive because if you do you will be consumed with the thing of darkness. LET GO!!! Behold the life where there is no weight being/trapping you in a place of complacency. Sadness is something that lets you lose sight of where you are going. Your eyes are blurred from the tears and pain. Joy will come and you will not see the world as you did in darkness but in the true light of God. Find yourself in a place of quiet rest and peace, not a place of war and restlessness.
Life is something to be lived not lost. Loneliness is not to be a thought in your mind. We are to seek God with EVERYTHING!!! We should not doubt He is here. Doubt and distraction are all around us. We cannot and will not let that take away from our walk with God. We are to fall in love and receive strength from Him. Do not be afraid of the journey but fear the Lord! He will open your eyes, carry you through the tims that you are lost.
Do not be afraid of change because change is exciting, new and may seem dark at times but through the dark times is light. Struggle will never fully be gone because we will have a walk with roadblocks (our human nature). The whole thing in the nutsheel is life is not all rainbows and sunshine but also time of storms and rain.
Pray. Have relationship and friendship with God. The devil, Satan, brings the world destruction and the Lord, Our Father, brings rebuilding and creation.

I know that is a lot to sink in but think about it. Our world is full of awful things and we are called to change those things. Not only that but we are also called to fall in love, head over heels, with God. We are to give Him everything good and bad and build a strong relationship where you can speak honestly to Him like you would your best friend. I am praying that God will move your heart and that He will open your eyes to the things unknown to you.


Monday, February 2, 2009

Struggles and Goals

I really find it interesting that I write all of these things down that I find eye opening for you to read but I myself sometimes do not take my own advice. I guess that's one of the hardest things though...realizing your faults and knowing you need to fix them. Its a struggle because you have to figure out a way to go about changing your prospective, life, etc. God has given me peace about some of the things I struggle with but I must take action. Thus far I have taken some bigs steps in my eyes toward a goal driven by God.

In For This I Was Born, Brian Houston talks about how you must use what God has put in your hands at this very moment....not to let your heart get in the way of the present. Everyone has dreams and God has times where they will come true when the time is right. I am seeing that I must do what He has put here for me now...the present. I always love waking up and feeling that joy inside me. I know that I am a woman of God and that I am walking on a path towards a goal God has set in front of me. I thank God for waking me up every morning and allowing me to live happily even through the struggles.

Struggles...hmm...those are things that sometimes can get in the way of what we seek. Sometimes its pain, sadness, hatred, jealousy, roadblocks, etc. and when it seems like they are gone another isnt supposed to be easy. We do not and should not let those things affect where our journey is going. I find struggles (valleys) bring strength and light. We are so blessed to have a God who is there all the time no matter what. Struggles are the times we call on Him the most but do we seek Him constantly...I sure hope so. I am starting to grasp what this life is all about and it certainly isnt all about me. Its about God's plan for me.

Well, I guess that's all for the to you later