Tuesday, November 10, 2009

____________. Be still.

I am feeling ______. I am in one of those times where I have no idea what is going on. I am lost without reason wanting to find a solution. Knowing the solution is the strangest part because even if you follow through you feel like you've accomplished nothing. Prayer is my answer. Simple right...knowing what to ask for is the hardest part. I guess I need not ask...but seek and be still. "Be still and know I am God." -Psalm 46:10. That has come up in my life several times lately and I need to listen. Stop. Be still. Those last two sentences seem unknowingly impossible. I don't often stop but I am becoming more willing now that I must lean on God constantly. Its not like I shouldn't always do that but understanding that I must is something I just realized a few months ago. Even though I understand that, I let myself get in the way of that.

I use my emotions as an outlet like a kid screaming for help in the middle of a busy crowd. No one can hear him though there are so many people around. Not a good way to communicate especially when it is hurting those around you. When you have no clue whats going on but you know something is wrong...how can you tell someone? I guess you can't but thats no excuse for hurting those closest to without reason. Sometimes all you can do is apologize but it doesn't change anything...you screwed up...BUT you can't beat yourself up about it and you sure can't hold on to it.

I guess right now all I can do is fall on my face and pray to my Daddy and seek help and comfort. Maybe just maybe no...he certainly will carry me if he needs to.

It feels so nice to get these things out of my head instead of just stewing about it all. Thanks for listening.

Love you all so much and I hope God is blessing you and teaching you things daily =)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Reflecting on HOW I LIVE!

Today is one of those days of reflection. Sometimes I wonder why people act the way they do. Is it necessary? Probably not. We overreact making the world seem a little bit more drama-filled than needed. Why? Because we want to have some reason to vent and some people just want that attention. I am experienced when it comes to being slightly overdramatic about daily things that are petty and not something to get all bent out of shape about. I am glad that I realized that part of me. It is pointless and unneeded to get upset especially when its at people you care a lot about.

Yesterday that happened to me. I got upset at my best friend and it was so not worth it. I look back at it and laugh because something like that is so juvenile and not worth the spat in the first place. I love Lindsey too much to let the little petty things get in my way. Why did I? I dont even know.

Anyways, thats not my reason for writing today. REFLECTION. What view am I giving to those on the outside? Good. Bad. Unnecessary. Truthful. Only they know and God. I must take a step back look at my life and see if I am living like Christ. I want to yearn for Him and find the secrets in His Word...the TRUTH! The world is a sneaky place full of ways to distract you from your goal. Why? BECAUSE SATAN WANTS TO WIN!!!!!!!!!! He wants to separate you from all you love here on the earth and from your Daddy! This means that we should fight...I should fight against this world's system and get on track with the amazing plans my God has for me. =) Oh joyful that makes me....I treasure that gift of Joy God has given me because he wants me to pour over all I meet and come in contact with.


Reflect on your life. Find the battles Satan is trying to win and FIGHT!!!!!!!! Call on the name of Jesus daily, love him wholely and surrender your life to Him. =) Be in awe of the beauty he's placed ALL AROUND YOU! Like today...its November the leaves are falling, the sun is out, the wind is blowing, and temperature is just right!

i love you all dearly and i pray that God blesses your days and weeks to come! =D