I write this as a woman in a season of great transition. I cannot say for sure whether or not the decisions I am making are one hundred percent His will. This puts me in a sticky situation. Tonight I was watching an episode of my favorite girly TV show and I realized sometimes true love comes in the letting go. It comes in the moment when you must abandon yourself, losing all you thought you were in order to find who you truly are.
This epiphany may not be new to some but to me it is oh so real. My heart aches knowing that I have missed the beauty of true love for so long. Throughout my life there have been hints here and there. There have been moments when my Papa has shown me His love in enormous ways. There have been moments when it is simple and pure. Last night the Lord revealed to me true love. He made me realize that no single person can make me whole. No person can “complete me.” (Remember that scene in Jerry McGuire). In the midst of rush of life when papers, presentations, and work consume my every day, I must take a moment and rest in True Love’s arms. All of this may seem cheesy to you but it is not to me. It is a lovely piece to the puzzle of my life.
Without much revealing, I will let you into the last few months of my life. I have been growing at a rapid pace in the Lord even when I seem to feel stagnant. The wisdom that I have received, the rest and peace I have needed are all around me now. I am at a point in my life where I am truly becoming the woman of God I have been created to be. I can honestly say it has not come easy and that one life situation in particular has accelerated it very much. Many of you have no idea what I am eluding to, while others read this with such knowledge. Regardless, my life is being transformed, tested, refined, restored, and renewed.
The LOVE of the Father never fails, is always faithful, is pure and true, runs deep, calls us closer, and cannot wait to embrace us. The reality is that God is always present in our lives, in the good and bad. Even in the midst of His judgement and correction, He loves. Oh the beauty of Him, the One who cleansed and purified me with His blood.
The world has created a picture of love that is half truth. Some get it right, others do not. It is something you can fall in and out of, it is a lust, it is temporary, it is “romance,” it is...you can fill in the blank. Read the paragraph before this one again.
Doesn’t it make you redefine “true love.” True love is self-sacrificing, surrendered, pure, patient, enduring, and I could go on and on and on. Just look throughout Scripture at the beautiful love that is portrayed in the Prophets, the Gospels, or the books to the Church.
Now is the time to step into a surrendered life. There is a song that continues to fill my mind, as well as, I Surrender All. It is the Will Reagan song, “Climb.”
Lyrics: “I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven./ I give it all to you God, trusting that You’ll make something beautiful out of me./I will climb this mountain with hands wide open...There’s nothing I hold on to.”
Rest in the fact that the Father wants all of you. He wants to know you, for you to “Abide” in Him. (John 15). Don’t wait. Do not let your desires overwhelm you. The desires of a human relationship, success, power, etc. Let His desires be yours. Let your life be His. I am learning this all just as you are/will. I cannot say I have it down, but I am beginning to see how perfect His love and will for my life is. Regardless of how I want things to happen, I must trust that the Lord in His righteousness will lead me on His perfect path for my life.
I am no longer my own. I have become the Father’s. I have found myself. I can see my destiny. I am called and full of purpose. I leave all my failures at His throne. I turn away from evil things. I embrace His goodness. I seek His True and Unfailing LOVE.
By the way, I am not saying that certain things may not be desires placed in your heart by the Father. I am saying that we must trust in His will for our lives to know where He is leading. We must not hold on to anything...a person, a plan, family, a friendship, a job, a talent, a gifting, nothing. Be at peace knowing that the Lord is leading you. Be at peace knowing that if you set your eyes upon His glorious countenance, your (His) desires will be fulfilled.
But let your heart keep my commands;
2 For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
4 And so find favor and high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.