Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Beginning of Something Amazing!!

Yesterday was the beginning of six months no dating for me. This is something that most people in my life think I cannot accomplish because of strange attraction to boys…guess every girl feels that way one time or another. I decided to do this because I feel that now, at this very moment, is the time for me to seek God with all I have and grow in my relationships. I have never felt free from some of the vices that have become part of my life. I have struggled with the fact that God will show me the man I am to marry. I might not have worried about that too much, but I am very flirtatious and honestly that makes me sick. I know that flirting is not a bad thing but sometimes it seems that that’s all I do with guys…whether I mean to purposely or not.

I truly find this time in my life amazing. I am in college, starting to be leader in my youth group, figuring out what plans God has for my life and so on. I am reading the book, For This I Was Born, which is opening my eyes to my true purpose in life. I am seeing that I may have my own plans for my life but those might not be the plans God has for me. I am here for a purpose, which is to bring people to Christ and further His kingdom. I sometimes lose this cause as the book calls it and begin to look at what I want out of life. These next six months I pray that God will be able to work on my heart and open it up to what he has planned for me. I plan on keeping a daily journal of these next months.

The first day I must say was the hardest because I had to realize that I had to leave someone I care a lot about behind and our feelings. I mean I know nothing will ever come of it and that God has someone amazing out there for me. I have struggled for a long time with our friendship and I have decided to take a stand and get through it finally!

Today was not as bad because I am finding out how freeing it to change my focus! I am continuing to pray and hope that patience will come to me in this time!

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