God has called us to become part of His Cause. The cause started the day that Christ sacrificed himself to bring us salvation. We are called to life with a specific purpose. God has a vision that he places in our hearts but sometimes we are blinded by our own visions. I am slowly realizing that I cannot sit and focus on certain things that I want to fix. Every situation in my life is in God’s hands not my own. All I can do is pray about it and if it is His will then it will come to be. When I am in prayer I pray “your will be done,” because we do not know the true outcome that God has planned. Some people go through life believing in God and praying for things that their heart desires. They have a specific prayer and they do not want any other outcome. God tells us to knock and door will be open and to seek and we will find, but we have to realize that in the end it is what God has planned, His will that will take place. So, when you pray know it is in God’s time and will that things will happen. How joyful it makes me to think that I do not have worry because God has plans for me bigger than myself. W hen things I give to God have an outcome that I don’t expect I have learned to know that it is out of my hands.
This past month my life has been turned upside down. I want to listen to what I sit and write to all of you, but I seem to be blinded. I am not able to lay things down like I want to. I was talking to my friend and told him that I seem to lay things at God’s feet and then pick it back up….WHY? I ask that same question to myself every single time. There are things in the past month that I have laid down and I cannot imagine picking up again. Other things that are on going I sit and ponder over. I was told I need to RELAX!!! I don’t need to focus on what has happened because honestly in the end it doesn’t really matter. I am one of those people who over think every situation…I tear it apart until I can’t put it back to where I started. It’s like putting together a puzzle and missing a piece. Instead of figuring things out on my own, I need to seek God. I NEED TO SEEK GOD….wow.
These past two days I have been volunteering and attending Terra Nova, an amazing youth conference. I have realized how lost I am and how much I am lacking my relationship with God. I have so much to learn and such growth to make and I am holding myself back. I want to mature in Christ, which is a huge step. I want to take what I know and help those around me. These next five months especially I want to know that I will take the opportunity to change. I don’t want to become a different person just improve myself. Change is an amazing thing but we are so scared of it. Why? I don’t have a clue. I think we are so used to the COMFORTABLE that we cannot seem to grasp change. I am finding though it’s weird and somewhat hard, that change brings joy.
I am being broken in so many ways in my life right now…God is taking everything I know and testing me. He is taking all of my selfish thoughts and desires and tearing them down…recycling almost. He is making all of the human wants and making them into something He has planned for me. I am so ready for this time even though it is one of the hardest times I have experienced with God. I am being challenged and I had no idea that it would be this tough. I am spinning my wheels in some ways because I don’t know where God is going to place me in the next three years, who he has for me, and how much closer I will be to Him.
I pray that God will take this time to show me who I am to become and what I am to become. I am so excited for God to work in my life. In Jeremiah 29, everyone knows verses 11-14 because they are an encouragement, but the beginning of that chapter God talks about how they must go through a time in the desert and that is exactly what being broken seems like. I don’t think of it as separation from God like they experienced, but a time of peeling like an onion…=)
I pray that God blesses this next year and that every single person on fire for God will STAND UP for him and not be a lazy or scared Christian. Christ told us we would do greater things than he did…do you believe that? You should…It’s the truth!!!!!
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