Meg Elizabeth has a lot on her mind...doesn't need to run but find the meaning in it. Ha it was so much easier when i was willing to run away.
Wasn't it so much easier when you were a kid or even a young teenager. Your problems were easier to hide from or even better run from. You didn't think they would affect you or you thought they didn't matter that much.
I was that kid that not only ran from but overanalyzed every problem that came my way. It was my way of dealing. So as you can guess drama followed me everywhere...i could leave the state and it would still come to get me. That being said a lot has changed. Drama is something that at all costs I could love to not have in my life. Also, I think that running is something I've done for to long. I have been told that and can now see how much I cannot express myself to some people. Most people its super easy for me because they are either my best friends or someone that needs some insight on life. Those people who I could possibly get hurt by or could possibly be one of the most important people in my life are the ones I have trouble opening up to....hmm..wonder why?
I either open myself up like a volcano or I shut up and cannot even tell them how I feel. Once I do I become vulnerable something none of us like being. Being vulnerable is like putting your shield down in battle...makes pain/hurt more certain. I guess its gonna be part of our lives whether we like it or not....ha.
I guess being stepped on plenty of times makes you wanna just step back and find a hole to hide in and let silence rule your life or you open yourself up in the wrong ways...thinking that that will bring security when really your doing the first.
I don't know what compelled me to write this except that I am going through the hurt after being vulnerable. God said it would be tough and I see that now. You have to go through that valley to get to that beautiful meadow. I think I must go through this whether I want to or not. I have to move past it and I have to embrace the fact I might have lost something very important to me.
Writing this blog lets me open a side of me that not many people get to see. The side where its not all BUBBLES...ha...how I love to be joyful. I guess going through things in this world makes me wonder how people are okay with being human in this world. How do people think there is satisfaction in this world...destruction more like.
May I serve my God and only my God. The one who created everything around me and placed me where I am today. The one I must lean on at this very moment and the ONLY one that can heal the brokenness. Time does heal...I've discovered. I am better than I was a month or so ago but at the same time just as broken as before. Oh God please help me!
Much Love and God Bless!