Random Thoughts for sure...

Right now I am listening to "Hurricane" by Jimmy Needham. I feel like this song encompasses so much of what I want right now. I love it! "I need you like a hurricane. Thunder crashing wind and rain. To tear my walls down..I'm only yours now. I need you like a burning flame. A wildfire untamed...to burn these walls down...I'm only yours now, I'm only yours now." I feel like that is exactly what I'm doing...building walls...which is in no way good.

I guess I'm just tired of getting burned. Tonight one of my closest friends, Bri, my friend's cousin, and I were sitting at Starbuck's and asking questions...one being.."What are five words that describe your life?" Hm...I thought. These are the five I chose...SILLY, INTERESTED, PROTECTIVE, JOYFUL, and HONEST...I really think that sums me up.

I have a lot of thoughts right now and I'm not sure how I am going to sum them all up.

I guess I can start with how that song I mentioned kind of cuts me to the core. Sometimes I feel like I don't give him everything and I give myself to other things. It kind of ties in with the book I'm reading at the moment...Crazy Love. Its a challenging book and I have almost quit because its been messing me up. I think I might just have to start over. Its crazy how words on a page can change your perspective and challenge you. The book calls you out on things cannot even imagine...now that I think about it..I'm gonna go read...maybe then I can put a complete thought together.

I'm my own Worst Enemy!

So this past week I went to Gulf Shores and just let me tell you that God was there. He showed up everywhere especially at night when Lindsey and I walked on the beach. I can feel His presence but at the same time I feel so far away from Him. I feel like somehow I am running from Him and the things He has for.

Last night God spoke to me and said that there are going to be challenges ahead and that I need to lean on Him because He has everything I need. How true is that? But why in the world don't I receive that sometimes. I was talking to Lindsey last night and I realized how much I make myself unhappy a lot of times. I purposely put myself in a bad mood...I feel like I shouldn't be happy....what gives me the right to be happy?....who gives me the right? Of course the answer is God, my Father and Savior. I cannot figure out why at this point in my walk I am struggling so much.

There is one person and situation in my life that I seem to be holding onto. I am letting the pain get to me and letting it rule my life. I am letting one small problem rule my world...why? Because if I let go of the pain I will possibly lose that friendship forever...it just doesn't seem fair. God told me that this situation would be hard for me but He just didn't say how hard.

I feel like I am going nowhere in my walk with God right now...that I have just stopped...not because I am content but because I don't know if I have the strength too. Taylor's cousin asked why its so hard for me to talk about it...I can't put my finger on it but for some reason to write it down on this page seems easier.

Have you ever felt like you were being crushed by yourself...that you aren't willing to let go and watch God work in your life? Why can't I do it on my own? What will happen if I try to? I know the answers to all of those questions...do I believe them or is it just knowledge.

So here's what God told me exactly..."Do not fear for I am the Lord! You saw my beauty all around you this last week. Challenge is ahead of you, it may seem impossible at the moment to think that you can get through and your right.....I see what's ahead for you and you must seek me. Its scary to lean completely on something unseen...but isn't it even greater that you can...because your Father will be holding your hand...."

To see that and hear it is comforting but to internalize it is hard right now. I think I have put my guard up to everything in my life except for a few people who God has led me to know and trust and confide in. I think that tonight should be an opportunity for me to reflect on what God has been saying in my life and sit and listen to Him. Read His Word and Meditate...worship Him...and like he told me DON'T WORRY!!!!!!!!!

Much love and God Bless....I'm praying that you may get through anything in your life that is hindering your walk with God...and that you seek Him daily.

Don't Worry, Be Joyful!

So the last two days I've realized that worrying is completely pointless. The Scriptures even say that. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not worry about anything but pray about everything...." For some reason I forgot that. That verse got me through my first two semesters of college and then all of sudden it became foreign to me. Silly me! All the things I have been dealing with and worrying about are problems that I should pray about and leave in His hands alone.

Why in the world should I try anything on my own or even try to figure out where my life is going by myself? I have the Creator of the Universe and My Father to help me with that. That is very comforting to me. I just have to remember that every day. Pray to God to remind me to not worry. Several people brought to my attention that the problems and things in my life that are bothering me right now are going to be insignificant..and honestly I am insignificant or at least I should be in God's eyes. I and the rest of the human race are screw-ups. We make wrong decisions every day but God brought us one of the greatest gifts by Jesus Christ coming to the earth and sacrificing himself...Grace and Mercy. Beautiful things.

So now I guess its my ability to lay down the things that are getting to me. Also, its my decision whether to be selfish or not. Lately that's what I've wanted to be...selfish. Why in the world should I be patient and willing to let God work when I want this and that. Ha....DUH MEGAN...He knows you better than you know yourself and He has bigger and better plans for you than you can even comprehend. You just have to be willing to dream big enough and have faith that He will bring you through....

I have now shared my revelation which I am sure I will have more than once in my life because worrying is one of my worst enemies in life...that and wanting what I know I don't need.


I don't know if this is going to help anyone but it sure is amazing to me how awesome God is....He shows/tells you exactly what He wants you to know whether you are willing to listen or not. He gave me a few people who kept saying the same thing over and over and I found a letter that someone wrote me a long time telling me not to worry but God's got it.

Ha.....just think...God knows what yours issues are...don't let them get you down...give them to God and know that He'll give you a solution, know that He loves you, and read James 1....the reoccurring scripture in my life.

God Bless and Much Love to you! Also, Happy Fourth!

Being Vulnerable...Sure Can Suck Sometimes

So my status at the moment is exactly how I feel right now.....

Meg Elizabeth has a lot on her mind...doesn't need to run but find the meaning in it. Ha it was so much easier when i was willing to run away.

Wasn't it so much easier when you were a kid or even a young teenager. Your problems were easier to hide from or even better run from. You didn't think they would affect you or you thought they didn't matter that much.

I was that kid that not only ran from but overanalyzed every problem that came my way. It was my way of dealing. So as you can guess drama followed me everywhere...i could leave the state and it would still come to get me. That being said a lot has changed. Drama is something that at all costs I could love to not have in my life. Also, I think that running is something I've done for to long. I have been told that and can now see how much I cannot express myself to some people. Most people its super easy for me because they are either my best friends or someone that needs some insight on life. Those people who I could possibly get hurt by or could possibly be one of the most important people in my life are the ones I have trouble opening up to....hmm..wonder why?

I either open myself up like a volcano or I shut up and cannot even tell them how I feel. Once I do I become vulnerable something none of us like being. Being vulnerable is like putting your shield down in battle...makes pain/hurt more certain. I guess its gonna be part of our lives whether we like it or not....ha.

I guess being stepped on plenty of times makes you wanna just step back and find a hole to hide in and let silence rule your life or you open yourself up in the wrong ways...thinking that that will bring security when really your doing the first.

I don't know what compelled me to write this except that I am going through the hurt after being vulnerable. God said it would be tough and I see that now. You have to go through that valley to get to that beautiful meadow. I think I must go through this whether I want to or not. I have to move past it and I have to embrace the fact I might have lost something very important to me.

Writing this blog lets me open a side of me that not many people get to see. The side where its not all BUBBLES...ha...how I love to be joyful. I guess going through things in this world makes me wonder how people are okay with being human in this world. How do people think there is satisfaction in this world...destruction more like.

May I serve my God and only my God. The one who created everything around me and placed me where I am today. The one I must lean on at this very moment and the ONLY one that can heal the brokenness. Time does heal...I've discovered. I am better than I was a month or so ago but at the same time just as broken as before. Oh God please help me!

Much Love and God Bless!

Opportunities and Change

So I feel that I am finding new opportunities all over the place and loving it entirely too much. God is awesome and opening up some cool doors for me. These doors will definitely without a doubt stretch me further than I have been in a long while. These things are for sure gonna have to have some prayer time put into them to make sure that I am ready to take these new ventures on but I am excited either way.

This last month has been full of storms and times of confusion like I wrote in my last entry but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I have really started to dig into what God has for me in every part of my life whether it be Him speaking to me, His Word, or just a friend speaking life into me.

So today gave me new perspective on how God changes things in an instant. One of my friend's had a change in their job and its amazing how He brings about really awesome things along...that's when you have to be ready for a change in your life. Change...one of the words most people don't like to hear or even think about. I am beginning to think that that fear of change is why many of us feel like we cannot succeed in life or even in relationships....as we grow we mature...as we mature we change and become bolder in our relationship with God. We learn to stand our ground even when others are running. We learn that change brings about challenge and with that a strengthening in our relationship with God....

How the world turns...

Think about and answer three things...what opportunities is God placing in your life right now? Are you afraid of the change that comes with? Or are you ready to face the situation with God on your side?


That's all for now....Much LOVE and GOD BLESS!

Confused...and Patience.

So its been quite awhile since I have written on here. Partly because for once I couldn't think of a thing to say and the other reason is because I didn't feel like it.

Right now at this moment I am so messed up with what God is doing in my life I could not tell you up from down. This past week I realized how much Satan attacks those that are seeking after God. He uses the human desires and thoughts and persuades us to put them into action. Whether we do or not is up to us. A few weeks ago I was in a completely different place than I am now...which is good and bad. I have realized that I must without any doubt give everything to God. The song, "With Everything," rings so true for us but at the same time we fall short of it every single day. I was on my way home from Natasha's tonight and I was listening to and attempting to worship to that song...but then I stopped myself. I cannot sing something that at the moment is not true in my life. I have to put every piece of my life in front of God and surrender it to Him daily.

The world is gonna try and tell you and me that our human desires are worth losing ourselves for....that is a complete and told lie. I almost lost myself this last week. I almost did....that scares me. Last night at SlowBurn when Clint was speaking I was convicted and I felt like I needed to repent and to give everything to Him...I am still figuring out things in my life. Of course God doesn't just show you ever part of His plan for you but as you grow and seek Him, He will reveal it to you. I am having trouble dealing with that. How in the world am I supposed to do that...He has repeatedly told me to be patient and to seek Him. I listen but I must obey before He will open my eyes to the things unseen to me.

Also last night I felt led to do a devotional which I haven't done in a couple of months....kind of like this blog. It was exactly what I needed....it was about temptation...very fitting for what I am going through. I know we are all tempted daily but Satan can sure make those temporary things look appealing. What God has for me though is permanent and amazing!!!! I am realizing that I cannot learn to be patient but I must become patient as one of my friends put it so well.

I am basically am confused as to where I am going and only God can show me the way...I alone can do absolutely nothing!!!! With my Father in Heaven I will find a new way and I will be loving, joyful and patient....Hallelujah! Praise my Father, my God, and my Savior.

Oh God I pray that you will work in a mighty way in my life and the lives of my friends and family. That the temptations and lies that will come to take us down will only make us stronger and willing to seek you more and more every day. I pray that what I realized this week will settle in my heart and mind and I will set my mind on you...make that EVERYTHING!!!!
I love you my beautiful Father and I know that you are working on your time and not mine...I must become patient and seek your Word and your Truth. Amen.

God Bless and Much Love.

Running....Oh How My Mind Is Running....

So tonight I realized that some of my friendships are on the outs. I don't know exactly why...it could be me it could be them. Its just one of those things. I was driving home from my best friend LP's house and I got really sad because I realized that I am either losing friends or I am drifting..who knows.

My mind is running running running....I don't know what is up and what is down.

I guess its something I need to go through maybe... I don't know. Like my friend Nick's blog...He said GAY...and that I agree with. Sometimes I wonder how in the world I keep my head on straight. I guess I should stop rambling and just pray...

Goodnight!